Finding a place – a little too late

A few years ago, I went back to school and got a degree as a physical therapist assistant. My first (and last) job in the field was at a local hospital, working with inpatients. Officially, I left the job because I couldn't meet productivity standards - the part of the job that tells you how …

Beautiful insignificance

When I was a young teen, I was captivated by the stars. We lived on the edge of a small town, our back yard up against a corn field, and the night sky there was vast. And I remember, on those nights when I was sad or hurting, or felt like a failure,  I would …

Be astonished

The exceptional poet Mary Oliver died recently. As my social media feeds filled with excerpts penned by her, I was overcome with dismay that, somehow, I had never known of her. Her words have captivated me over these last days, and it feels appropriate to share these ones here. Words that define so much of who …

The atheist in the choir

As I mentioned on Christmas Eve, I attend a church. I mentioned that I happen to like this church very much. There's an awful lot to unpack here, the beginning of which is this: I am a musician. I'm a classically-trained vocalist, and as such, I've spent time in many different churches. Nearly all churches …

Traveling without a map

I'm sure you're a good person. But why? You can't possibly have morals. Every atheist I know has gotten some version of this. Sometimes, it's out of simple, charming curiosity. Sometimes, there are ulterior motives: an effort to lay out some sort of "Gotcha!" trap, wherein the unsuspecting atheist might paint themselves into a god-corner …

A night of reflection

There's a story that leads me to this place, but it's a story for another day. So I leap into this particular story with little preamble, and I begin here: At church tonight - my church, a church for which I have great affection - important words were said. Words that moved me with what, …

Defining spirituality

My husband has a long personal history with religion. While the details of his story are not mine to tell, the relevant bit is that his life was constructed to culminate in an eventual career as a pastor. He obtained a Masters of Theology before converting to Catholicism and accidentally meeting some atheist on a …

The dangers of being agnostic

After being effectively removed from religion as a teen, I adopted the label of agnostic. It was inoffensive and safe. The kind of label that said, in small-town Minnesotan fashion, "I don't really entirely believe in this, because I have questions, but it might be right, and who's to say? Certainly not me. So I'll …

Walking away

My first draft of this entry began thusly: I was in high school when I declared that I would no longer follow a religion. But that's not right, exactly. I was in high school when I became deeply curious about science - biology and evolution, especially - and I remember bringing questions to my weekly …

The interloper

It was a complete accident that my husband and I ever met. I found him on a dating site, where I checked out his profile quickly before immediately surfing away. (As if the merest glance from my IP address were too bold.) The next day, he noticed me and sent a message. One message led …